Subtitle: ...and I want my money back from all those 900 number calls
Sometimes a story is so profound it demands to be told (or, err, uh, copied from someone else who told it). This particular news story was about the flood damage in Concrete, WA. Not to be confused with Rockport, WA, or Marblemount, WA, or Something-Really-Hard-And-Barren-In-The-Sticks, WA.
Let me introduce you to Ms. Starlet Lovelady.
According to federal naming regulations (which I believe date from the Clinton era), with a name like that, she should look like this:
But in reality she looks like this:
Because of the flooding, Ms. Lovelady has had to give up her job at "Super Hot & Lonely Chat Line" (where her tag line was: "Call now, I'm bored toni...hey who the %^*! ate my Cheetos")
The Federal Bureau of Name Revocation has dispatched a team to Concrete by way of Sedro-Wooley to revoke Ms. Lovelady's name and give her a new one. The FBNR computers are still crunching as we speak, but things look good for "Maude Cheesebottom".
